Dear Moms

Dear moms,

I know how badly you want the best for your children. 
I know that it can be so hard to see them struggle with food and their weight. 
I know that you think you can fix it by policing their food, praising them for exercising or weight loss, and even scaring them about their weight gain.
However, as much as you wish you could control your child’s relationship to food and body type, you can’t.

You cannot control this. In fact, you’re off the hook!
The only thing you can control, is how they feel around you.

Do they feel safe around you? Safe from judgement or food stress?
If you don’t comment on their food or body, do you comment on your own? 
Can they sense your disapproval of certain body types?
Do you praise people, even celebrities or instagram friends, for their thin bodies or weight loss?
How do you teach them to think of themselves and food? 
Were you dieting and engaging in fat-phobic speak while they were/are growing up? Or are you actively accepting of all bodies, appetites, and food preferences?

I’m sure you’re thinking: “worrying about my child’s weight or food consumption is a health issue! How can I neglect that?”

To which I’ll answer (and this is important, so don’t skim past it): are you conflating or confusing weight with health? 

Are you using the guise of “health” as a scapegoat for really wanting your child to be thin? 

If you don’t understand the difference, it’s imperative that you read the short but powerful book Body Respect, by Lindo Bacon. Or, at the very least, google and read up on HAES.
Understanding the Health At Every Size (HAES) way of looking at health is vital as a parent if you carry your own food and body trauma--which most of us do--and do not want to pass it down.

Making judgmental comments about your or your child’s body as it relates to size or weight, or policing their food, will in 9/10 cases lead to disordered eating of some kind. 

The absolute best thing you can do for your child, whether they’re 3 or 30, is create an abundance, food positive, body positive space for them to exist in.

This is the place in which intuitive eating, relaxed eating, intuitive movement, body confidence and ultimately, health, can thrive.

Another great resource to check out is Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family, by Ellyn Satter.

If you have any questions, reach out to me at [email protected].