Intuitive Eating + Dealing with Family During the Holidays

It’s that time of year--we gather with friends and loved ones to celebrate, but secretly dread the comment our aunt always makes about us, or about how great her diet is going.

We love Thanksgiving food, but fear our choices and that it will throw us “off the rails”.

BEEEEEN THERE. 

Here are some of my tips for getting through the holidays (or any stressful meal situation) still feeling intuitive and connected to yourself:

First of all--let’s go back to the BASICS of what we know about IE and about bingeing.

Intuitive eating thrives in abundance and in choice.

Bingeing is a direct reaction to restriction. 

So in a way, they live on either end of the allowance-restriction spectrum.

Intuitive eating also inherently involves checking in--a connection of your mind and body.

SO with those basics in tow, creating a plan around intuitive eating during the holidays, or any situation is fairly simple. 

In order to feel intuitive, let’s start with creating an abundance mindset. This usually includes doing some body image work to feel grounded and confident in your body. 

Make sure you are well versed in the understanding that trying to control your weight or appetite is a futile pursuit, and one that inevitably backfires with compulsion around food. If you need a refresher on that, read my blog post here. 

Spend time in the online spaces of people like Mik Zazon, Brianna Campos, Sarah Landry, and other body positive folks.

Basically--generally get ya head on straight so you know you’re chillin in a more accepting, relaxed headspace.

Then, make a plan for how you want to feel or check in with yourself.

If you know you struggle to be present and enjoy your food around a group of people, maybe wear something different on your wrist, like a scrunchie or bracelet, that reminds you to take a deep breath and taste your food. 

Maybe set a reminder on your phone to go to the bathroom and take a few deep breaths or do some EFT tapping to calm your nervous system down.

These are all practices that really help me connect to myself, remind myself of my freedom and abundance, and tap into my intuition when I was just starting to heal my diet trauma.

Remember, you can’t get food wrong. Your body KNOWS what to do with food and ultimately, the day will pass and it won’t have that big of an effect on your life either way. 

When it comes to handling those super fun family members who love to health troll you or engage in diet-speak--well, that’s somewhat of a nuanced solution depending on your relationship to them and on your boundaries. 

I like to take some time to think about what my boundaries are before I enter a space where I know they may be crossed.

I also recommend having a conversation with them, whether on email or phone, before the meal or event, letting them know your concerns and requests, so they have time to process and you don’t have to worry about stating them then and there. 

Remember--most people who engage in diet talk and diet mentality don’t understand the harm they’re doing to themselves or others. They mean well, and are likely struggling a lot internally around their own health and weight ideas. 

PRO TIP!!!: Check out my Ally Guide and consider passing this along to friends and family members so they’re up to date on what language can be triggering and why it’s harmful.

I chose to set extremely clear, long term boundaries with my family when I began my anti-diet life.

I told them that I would no longer be accepting any comments about my food choices or my body for the rest of my life, thank you for understanding and respecting me.

Luckily for the most part they haven’t said much to me, however they do still strongly engage in diet-talk amongst themselves. I work to set emotional boundaries internally, where I remind myself it is NOT my job to teach or fix them, and I sort of tune out while that conversation plays out, or change the subject to something I want to talk about instead. 

I’ve had my fair share of sighs and eye rolls, and even left the room at times when I just don’t want to be around that conversation.

Any way in which you want to deal with that is 100% acceptable--this is your emotional wellbeing and you have to do what’s best for you if the people around you aren’t doing that. 

Being a part of a support group during times like this is sooo helpful. The women in my private coaching group are constantly expressing how healing and safe it feels to have a group chat and calls they can turn to for support when things like this come up, so do not hesitate to get support if you feel like you need it.

Remember that everything does pass. Set up some extra self care for when you get home and if you forget to check in, to “intuitively eat” or eat to the point where you feel really really full, that is 100% fine. 

Whether a holiday or not, how much food you eat does not mean anything about you as a person. It’s OKAY, and your body will handle it. (A great mantra to repeat to yourself during the meal!)

I love to support my digestion at times like this with more probiotics, some digestive enzymes, lots of rest and lemon water etc etc. But there will be the occasional night where my sleep gets interrupted by my fullness or tummy ache--that’s life. That’s life. 

And the more relaxed you are about it, the better your body can process and digest.

I’m here for you during the holidays if you need guidance, just shoot me a DM or email.